I’m very picky, so I admit I don’t have a lot of relationship experience, but this feeling has never failed me. I usually listen to this feeling as soon as it arises. In fact, the only time I’ve ever ignored this feeling led me into a narcissistic abusive relationship.
I like to give the benefit of the doubt. I give people the opportunity to prove themselves before judging them based on one action. However, there have been a few times in my life when I opened myself to the possibility of love with someone, and early on in this relationship, I experienced this overwhelming feeling. I can’t describe the feeling articulately, but I can describe the thought that accompanies this feeling.
The best description for the feeling is unease, and the next thought accompanying the feeling is unrest. My mind starts racing with thoughts of an exit. I get filled with anxiety, trying to put the pieces together. There usually isn’t a serious red flag that I or others can discern, and yet, my spirit is set on high alert. Suddenly, everything is under the microscope.
I try to rationalize it and give the benefit of the doubt, but my body and mind reject it. I tell myself, if this feeling doesn’t subside by whatever timeframe I set in my mind, then I’m out, I’ll leave the relationship, cut the person off, etc.
When I was younger, I ignored it, telling myself I was making something up, and if there wasn’t evidence or a reason to walk away, then I’d stay. Staying always proved to be the wrong choice.
Now, the feeling is evidence. There are times I haven’t felt that, and things just took its natural course. No harm. No foul.
Society tells us to ignore and pass negativity or negative feelings, but God gave us feelings. Ignoring our feelings is similar to teaching an animal in the wild to ignore their instincts. Are we smarter than animals? Yes, but we’re mammals that God designed and the most emotionally complex creatures on the planet. I’m not a slave to my emotions, but it would be unintelligent to completely ignore what they can warn me of.
Sure, others can talk about all the dating experiences they have while mine might be less interesting, but I walked away unscathed, maintaining a purity of heart and way of being all by honoring a feeling.
Not one man I let go of do I regret. When I look at what God has done in my life, I know it was a sure no. 😅
Any relationship that has worked out or did not cause trauma, that feeling never came. There was a peace in the interaction.
Do you have a feeling early on that signals whether it will work or not, even when there are no red flags? Let me know.
This Girl's Worth 