This Girl's Worth

I always joked that I was a Kobe fan, not a Laker fan. I love the Lakers, but my interest in the Lakers started from a young age in the Shaq and Kobe era. I remember my sisters got an opportunity to meet them back in 2001. They came home with hats and signed backpacks because the Lakers visited the YMCA in South Los Angeles. I was jealous about that. Out of all of the girls in my house, I was the biggest sports fan. Now, I want to take this into context because I recognize I am not a fan of sports in a traditional sense. I want to watch finals, championships, and attend games because I like being in the environment. I could not care less about my favorite team getting the best players, or how many games they won that season, or so on and so forth. I like teams because I gravitate towards a player, not because I actually care about the team. I digress.

Kobe Bryant was the only player I gravitated towards, ever. Not only because I thought he was cute, but the way he played basketball was different than anyone I had seen. Everyone talked about his work ethic, way before it was called Mamba Mentality. He was known as being young, cocky, a ball hog, a big thinker, and doer. You could tell that his way of living life was by challenging himself to be the best in every aspect of it. I resonated with his philosophies. I remember Kobe saying how he doesn’t believe in giving family members money, but he believes in providing them with things to invest in themselves. I adopted that same philosophy. I saw him in business deals, play games with all of his might, mentor younger players, stay married to his beautiful wife, and pour into his community. He was truly invincible. He was undoubtedly an inspiration, and that’s why it didn’t make sense to me when I heard the news on January 26 at 11 o’clock in the morning. I just turned on the livetream of my church service and my pastor was talking about death, and it completely went over my head. My sister then called me and told me that Kobe Bryant died. I rejected her. I couldn’t believe that she would say that. I kept waiting to hear the news say he was alive, in the hospital, in critical condition. Minutes later, the news confirmed, and reports that his gorgeous daughter and others had passed with him in a helicopter crash. My heart dropped and everything was blank.

I must have spent about 6 hours on social media after that reading about Kobe and liking posts. I thought about everyone I had known who loved Kobe and I wondered how they were coping. While everyone was posting about Mamba Mentality, reaching goals, and working hard for Kobe’s legacy, I couldn’t help but think, Kobe didn’t care about any of that in his last moments here on this Earth.

I don’t think if Kobe had known he was going to pass with his daughter that morning, that he would have been thinking about how much money he was going to make, businesses, working hard, playing basketball, coaching, or other people. I think he would have made peace with himself, and spent time with his family, so they could feel his love, and he would have played one last game with his daughter Gigi.

Kobe was in his second wind. He had lived a very successful life, but it was time for a fulfilled one. His last three and a half years after retirement were spent pouring into the next generation. To hear that Kobe was building up the WNBA for his daughter and teaching a girls basketball team, that he positioning his businesses to hand off to his daughters, and that he sent his wife a text about how they needed to spend more time together, just the two of them let me know this: Kobe had lived his life for himself, and in his second wind, he planned to live his life serving and building those he loved. It wasn’t his name, image, control, or money that he sought. Being with and pouring into those he loved was what excited him about waking up in the morning. his family, was his real first love.

The night before Kobe died, his record was beat by Lebron James. Not only did hearing that create goosebumps on my skin, it terrified me. I began to challenge my own perspective. What does buidling legacy really mean? What do you have to sacrifice to be great? Who is defining my greatness? Kobe’s legacy will never be erased however, his titles, status, records, awards mean nothing because life will go on. Kobe spent 20 years building that record and in one night, it was surpassed. 50 years from now, he will still undoubtedly be a legend, but nonetheless, a name of the past. His records, will likely have been surpassed. Some other person will come along and set a new legacy and inspire a new generation. It doesn’t take away from Kobe, and it doesn’t erase who he is, but no matter how big we are, we are only meant to play an integral role in God’s plan, and that’s okay. That doesn’t mean we aren’t important, but it begs the question, what is important?

In his younger days, Kobe said he wanted to be immortalized and die young. I am sure he didn’t mean that. He said that because he was on top of the world and high on himself. I can’t believe a man with a family would feel this way. Do I think that Kobe would have played basketball for 20 years of his life if he knew that he would only have 41 years on this Earth? Probably not. Do I think Kobe would have spent that much more time with his family, mended relationships that mattered the most, and spent more time on being fulfilled? Absolutely.

While I will never know what Kobe wouod have actually done, I saw a man in love with his family, and who accepted that his real legacy was having something to give to those who came after him. In his youth, I feel like he wanted to be immortalized. As a man, he wanted to teach people they can. His death brought out thousands of stories of people Kobe invested in. He was undeniably an inspiration. Yet, there is this ringing feeling on the inside that Kobe’s legacy isn’t about what he did, but who he was. From what we hear, he was a good person. He was altruistric, romantic, caring, attentive, loving, giving, encouraging, inquisitive, and confident. And I am sure that he was all of those things, but I don’t feel the lesson from Kobe Bryant’s death is live life to the fullest and Mamba Mentality.

The lessons that speak to me are: