This Girl's Worth

People always call me cool, calm, and collected. Something I’ve grown to love, but I used to despise. I didn’t want to be laid back and chill, I wanted to be vivacious, lively, and dynamic. Those were the cool kids. The ones who people waited to walk on campus, in the building, etc. Those are the ones who people don’t test as often, or boundaries get disrespected, or the ones who have to seek people to connect with because they might get missed.

I’ve learned to appreciate who I am, which means I might not be the life of the party. However, while people aspire to be laid back for aesthetic, being a chill person has its challenges everywhere you go.

Let’s discuss advantages and disadvantages of being the laid back one.

1)

ADVANTAGE

People usually feel like they can talk to you.

It feels good to know that people look at you as someone who is as cool as a cucumber, collected and, and calm. People trust level headed individuals to provide sound, balanced, advice or be a listening ear. It’s not a surprise people feel like they can talk to you for hours and that they can rely on you to listen.

DISADVANTAGE

Just because you are laid back does not mean you are level headed, have advice to give, or want to listen. We’re all just humans. Sometimes, we get overwhelmed too.

We’re not just the buddy you can call with all of your problems who doesn’t care. We listen because we care, which means we are emotionally invested. Ask us how we’re doing! We may always seem level headed, but we are not your therapist.

2)

ADVANTAGE

People view you as open minded

It’s nice when someone’s preconceived notions of you are not taking center stage when they meet you. Your chill prsona might come off as being easy to get along with, which inadvertently could mean, this person is open minded, not judgy.

DISADVANTAGE

When you’re a laid back person, people’s preconceived notion of what it means to be laid back can be dehumanizing. People will assume you don’t care about much or have an opinion. The minute you disagree with them, they will start to look at you differently and discount you.

Sometimes being laid back feels like struggling to have your voice heard. You might be used to getting cut off, shut out, or people trying to shut you down. Just because someone is chill doesn’t mean they don’t have an opinion.

Opinions are like… well you know the saying. Everyone has one, and everyone deserves to be heard, too.

3)

ADVANTAGE

You typically get along with most people because you are so chill. You don’t typically rock the boat, not because you’re weak, but you have a more neutral approach to life.

DISADVANTAGE

You attract all of the people who want to try you. I don’t know if it’s human nature, but people like to mess with a good thing.

So if you’re a cool person, people want to test those limits. They want to test your authority and try to get reactions out of you.

Being easy going is great, but when people think easy going means: pushover, stoic, boring, uninterested, and always unbothered, being easy going feels like a fight to stay chill.

When it comes to being easy going, I don’t know what to tell you. It ain’t easy, but do you.